INVISIBLE STRING: POPTART

INVISIBLE STRING: POPTART

Monday, October 14, 2024

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I have discussed this topic before, but it's always a good one to review. It's about buying a horse. I'm also tying this one in to my Invisible String (it was Invisible Forces, but I guess Taylor Swift wanted me to name it after her song...who am I to argue?) 

Now when I bought this red mare that I call PopTart, I was coming off of not having a horse for about ten years. I had also had my confidence in nearly everything wrecked by my ex-husband. So of course I bought the first horse I tried that was hot and super confident and challenging...because why wouldn't I?

I did not get a PPE, and honestly I had decided to buy her before I ever even went to test her. It was 100% an emotional decision. And I don't regret it at all. 

However, I got lucky. 

I may have lost my confidence, but I had 20+ years of horse experience to rely on. She is reasonably sound and requires minimal maintenance (although that may change with our next vet visit - I'll talk about that later when I have answers). I would not recommend that anyone purchase a horse on vibes alone unless they have the experience and funds to back it up if things take a turn. 

What I would recommend is that if you are a first time or new to the horse game individual that you take a trusted experienced friend or trainer with you. I also definitely recommend a PPE, especially if the price point is a higher one. I'd also recommend trying the horse several different times. 

PopTart ended up being exactly the horse I needed because if I'd gotten a calmer horse or one that didn't challenge me then I wouldn't have renewed my confidence. I firmly believe that if I had gotten a "confidence builder" that I would have gotten complacent. I spent awhile getting her to learn how to walk on a loose rein, pick up her leads, and just in general riding her. It helped that I got her about six months before the covid lockdown, so I ended up having tons of free time to do all of this. 

Now she's had a baby, who I just adore. And once we get the vet clear for an issue she's been having then we will get back to work. If she doesn't get the vet clear, then we will move on from there. She has a permanent home with me either way. 

Someone once told me when I was talking about the love I have for her and how amazing she is that, "she's just a red mare, what's so special about her?" She might just be a red mare to the world, but to me she's everything. She brought me back into horses and made me realize how much they feed my soul. She gave me back a piece of myself that was missing for so long and made me whole again. For that this red mare is supremely special. 

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INVISIBLE FORCES: JJ

INVISIBLE FORCES: JJ

Monday, July 22, 2024

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Bash & JJ

JJ

This is the second post in a new series about horses that I connected with. Not all of them are mine, and not all of them I knew for a long time. Like with people there are horses that we connect with more strongly than others. I used to struggle with that, but it's really okay. I love them all, of course, and I will always treat every horse with dignity and respect. 

TW: horse cancer, euthanasia, animal death

The first time I met JJ I was sure he would be mine. M said he had an owner, and I couldn't just claim other people's horses. But I knew. 

JJ had cancer and his previous owner wasn't treating it. He would lose and gain weight constantly, and his feet always were getting abscesses. They were an older couple who had their own health issues, so they honestly just did not have the energy or time to properly care for him. 

When we were leaving the boarding stable and moving onto our own horse property, I contacted his previous owner and said I was ready to take JJ. And she let me have him. 

From there we did a resection of the cancer, sent it off for pathology, and after that a year of chemo cream applied to the area every week, and cryotherapy to shrink the mass every few weeks. Finally, the vet said that outside of a full surgery to remove everything, which would be hard on him at his age, there was nothing else to do. He began to not be able to keep the weight on shortly after that and the vet suspected that the cancer had likely spread. 

JJ lived with us for about three years before it was time. He had started to be unable to keep weight on at all despite us previously being able to stabilize his fluctuating weight, and the winter was coming. Rather than watch him waste away, we made the decision to euthanize. He didn't want to load in the trailer that day. And I almost just canceled our appointment. I cried the entire drive to the office, and as I type this out I am crying now. 

I did not deal well with this and would cry for weeks following that day about how I had murdered him. I think because the day we went he was having a good day. But there were starting to be more and more bad days where his cancer would bleed and swell. His weight was dropping. Even now I feel like I'm talking myself into knowing I did the right thing. This is the hard part of loving animals. 

He was such a kind and gentle soul. My step kiddo really learned to ride on him. He took care of friends on trails, my mom, M's mom, and I would take him for bareback strolls through trails. During those times I confided in him. Side note: The vet did okay us to ride him before you ask. His cancer was very confined to just his sheath and penis. 

JJ helped raise Bash. He helped give me back some of my confidence. He was the black and white paint horse I'd wanted my whole life. And I will miss him for the rest of mine. 

I know that now he's in green pastures, cancer free, no arthritis, running, and living his best afterlife. And one day I'll see him again. 

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INVISIBLE FORCES: RIOT

INVISIBLE FORCES: RIOT

Thursday, June 27, 2024

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Riot

I am starting a new series about horses that I connected with. Not all of them are mine, and not all of them I knew for a long time. Like with people there are horses that we connect with more strongly than others. I used to struggle with that, but it's really okay. I love them all, of course, and I will always treat every horse with dignity and respect. 

TW: euthanasia, horse death, and animal neglect/abuse

I first met Riot several years ago when a former friend purchased him for a very low amount. He was older, thin, and just generally not well taken care of in his later life. He came with an older gelding who was his friend who ended up being euthanized before the year was up. From the time I met Riot I felt something. I almost always do with older horses. 

Maybe it's a respect that they've given their youth and their bodies to us, so I get very emotional about them. Especially when I see them end up in less than ideal situations when they should be enjoying their leisurely life of retirement or semi-retirement. 

I really got to know Riot when he was used in the farm school that I co-owned, although after a few classes I stopped using Riot. He was clearly in pain, and although it was mentioned to his owner several times that behavior changes were occurring nothing was done. Riot did like attention from adults. I think the pulling and unbalanced riding of beginners and children were too much for his arthritis, teeth, and probably the malady of other untreated issues he was experiencing. 

I only rode Riot once, but he perked up more than I'd ever seen him before during that ride as though remembering his glory days where he went to the NFR three times as a head horse in team roping. I've tried to find his videos, but I've never been able to. 

I do know that every time I was near him, he would lay his head on me as if to ask for help. And I tried. I mentioned multiple times that he seemed to be in pain and needed to be fully retired. I offered to let him retire to my pasture. 

Riot died a few months ago. 

A death that could have been prevented, which is partly why his previous owner is a former friend and why I no longer co-own the farmschool. An inexperienced horse person and her friend were out at that barn riding horses and Riot was allowed to eat medicated goat feed, which has an additive in it called rumensin. This additive is extremely toxic to horses in very small amounts. 

Riot acted like he was colicking. The vet came out, tubed him. I have no idea if the truth about what he had ingested was told or not. He ended up seizing and dying in his pen. 

I was devastated and relieved. 

I was devastated because no horse should die a painful death like that. If you have never witnessed a horse having seizures, I hope you never do as it's quite violent and traumatic on their bodies. And because they are so large and it's so violent, there is nothing you can do until it stops. 

I was devastated because he spent the final years of his life unhappy in a dirt lot without shade at a shitty barn with shitty people. 

I was devastated because it was so preventable. 

But I was also relieved. 

I feel like those quiet moments I spent with him when he would lay his head on me were him asking me to help him. I feel like those deep sighs when I would scratch him and let him just be was him begging for relief. And both of our requests were ignored because he was busy making money for someone despite his age and condition. 

And so I was relieved that he was free. I was happy for him that he gets to move on to a happy green pasture with his old friend that he came there with. I was relieved that the pain was gone for him. 

In retrospect, I wish I had offered to buy him more when I saw that he clearly wasn't going to be offered a soft place to retire and instead would be working until the day he dropped dead. I was giving my former friend the benefit of the doubt, and my regret is that it was ultimately at the expense of Riot. 

Rest easy Riot. Run free. 

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